Two translators on a ship are talking. “Can you swim?” asks one. “No” says the other, “but I can shout for help in nine languages.”
A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit’s head, and said, “You’re under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll blow your brains out.” But the bandit didn’t speak English, and the Ranger didn’t speak Spanish. As luck would have it, a bilingual lawyer was in the saloon and translated the Ranger’s message. The terrified bandit blurted out, in Spanish, that the loot was buried under the oak tree in back of the cantina. “What did he say?” asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered, “He said, ‘Get lost, Gringo. You wouldn’t dare shoot me.’”
Translator gets 400 words to translate. Client : How long will it take? Translator : About a week. Client : A whole week for just 400 words? God created the world in 6 days. Translator : Then just take a look at this world and afterwards take a look at my translation.
Two highway workers were busy working at a construction site when a big car with diplomatic license plates pulled up. “Parlez-vous fran?ais?” the driver asks them. The two workers just stared. “Sprechen Sie Deutsch?” The two continued to stare at him. “Fala portugu?s?” Neither worker said anything. “Parlate Italiano?” Still no response. Finally, the man drives off in disgust. One worker turned to the other and said, “Gee, maybe we should learn a foreign language…” “What for? That guy knew four of them and what good did it do him?”
“I’ve just had the most awful time,” said a boy to his friends. “First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy.”“Wow! How did you pull through?” sympathized his friends.”I don’t know,” the boy replied. “Toughest spelling test I ever had.”
The linguist’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”
How does a freelancer define “weekend”? Two working days till Monday.
1 комментарий Юрий Павленко | 24.08 2009 20:50 Вот еще одна, по-моему, неплохая байка:
Conversation between the customer and translator:
- Can I have this text translated within 3 days? I am really pressed here.
- How much will that be?
- USD 1500.
- Isn’t that too much for a three-day job?
- I can do it in one week if it will make you feel better…